Heavens Gonna Wait For You
by Rosalia Virus
Summary: Supernatural AT A different path was chosen for Dean. At a young age Bobby had talked John into handing Dean over to him so he could raise him how he should be raised, the way Mary wanted her sons to be raised. And so as it went, Bobby was Dean's father, and soon Ellen was his mother, and Jo his sister. Of course he got to see Sam and john, but not that much. he grew up a normal
1. Chapter 1

The day was long and boring, same old things happening at work each day. But Dean liked it this way, he knew what to expect and what he had to do each and every day. That pattern was soothing to him, every once and a while something unexpected came up, but he didn't mind. At the end of the day, he would come home to a loving boyfriend, children and on some occasions, even pie.

It's been about four years now since Dean had met Castiel—more like almost ran over him. It was strange meeting him, like it was meant to be. Dean had been driving home from the office when there was this man just lying in the road bleeding and unconscious. In the end Dean had taken home the injured man and cared for him. At the time, all he knew was that his name was Castiel, and that he had no memory of a home, friends or family. It was a bit strange, but as time went by Castiel learned to call Dean's home his home, and soon their friendship changed into what it was now.

Dean couldn't just ignore when he had feelings for Cas, or even when Castiel had feelings for him—oh that was a funny memory, when he had told Dean that he had these strange feelings towards him, that when he looked at him his stomach would get all tight, and his thoughts would even turn dirty at times—he had to ask what this meant. Man, did Dean have a good day with that.

Oh, that memory always made Dean smile; he was so happy to have Castiel in his life.

And about two and a half years after that, a couple of orphans showed up at their door step: Arriane and Adam. They soon adopted them both; being twins how could they not take the two of them? And they were the light of their lives. Cas really learned a lot about being a parent, Dean having Bobby and Ellen as his own to look up too.

Dean hated to admit that John wasn't much of a farther. When he was, he was always there for Dean when Bobby called, and in the beginning it was just him, John and Sam, after his real mother died... In the end, Bobby talked John into letting him have Dean, taking a weight off of him. And soon after Bobby met Ellen, who had a daughter named Jo. He lived with both of them; until it was time for him to move on into adulthood. Every so often, as a kid, Dean would see Sam, but not as much as he'd like to: Sam was his family, blood family, and they shared something, even if family wasn't just blood...

But now, Dean doesn't really get to see Sam or John much either—once in a while they stop by, have a meal with them, and then leave. Bobby and Ellen check in every week as well, if they can't call. Same with Jo when she has the time to—she just loves poking fun of her gay brother and brother in-law.

"Cas, baby, I'm home!" Dean called as he stepped in, heading for the kitchen. "Did you get that pie today?" Pie _must_ be in this household.

"Of course I did, Dean. You should try eating healthier foods though!" Castiel told him from the stove. To everyone's surprise, Castiel was one hell of a cook.

"Yeah, yeah, so you say. But you don't see me getting fat over pie—I work hard to keep my body." Dean said with an excuse, well, he did work out really oftenly.

"Arriane and Adam are at the Olsen's playing with Ann and Sarah: we're having them over for dinner tonight." Castiel informed him. Oh, great, neighbors over? Well, Nicole and Nate where good friends of them, always fun to hang around.

"Great," Dean muttered, holding the pie off till later. "What time are they coming over?"

"Soon," was all Dean was given.

"So this means that we've got some time for ourselves then," Dean purred in Castiel's ear, suddenly so close to him. Castiel felt the warmth that Dean gave off, his breath on his neck and the arm around his waist. His heart just shot straight up, heck; Cas even felt a little dizzy now. Having Dean so close to him always made him feel like he had butterflies in his stomach, as Dean once put it—but he loved the feeling because it made him so happy.

Dean pulled him even close. "Because you know, we never get time to ourselves anymore—I miss you," his voice said so calmly, yet there was a mischievous tone to it.

"I know what you mean, Dean," Cas said, throwing his arms around Dean's neck.

Dean leaned in; their lips so close to each other now. "Cas, I love you so much," he said before kissing him softly, so gentle, like if Cas would break any moment.

"Are we interrupting something here?" laughed Nicole. Dean and Castiel jumped back like cats being startled.

"Nicole!" Dean hissed, "What do you think you're doing here—without knocking!" you could tell he was embarrassed, and Castiel was as well, hiding his blushing face as he worked on the salad.

"Well, your boyfriend here invited us over for dinner, and we have your Rugrats—you know, we could take them off your hands for the night if you wanted." She teased. Nicole was such a good friend of theirs, and she didn't even care that they were gay; she treated them like any other person.

"Haha, we might have to take you up on that offer sooner or later," Dean laughed back, winking at Cas who only focused more on the food. He was always so cute when he was embarrassed.

"Daddy! Daddy!" Arriane came running towards Castiel, Adam towards Dean—you could tell who they favored more.

Arriane looked so much like his mother, Mary, like a spitting image, Dean had to wonder how she was not his child: bright long blonde hair, that at anytime looked like curls. And Adam had the same bright blonde. Of course they where twins, the only difference about them where their eyes: Adam having shinning blue eyes, and Arriane having chocolate brown eyes. They each had such a loveable face! Dean was so happy that they had found these two orphans; they were the love of his life, as well as Cas's.

"Arrie cheated! She cheated, Daddy!" Adam claimed, while Arriane claimed the same thing about Adam to Cas.

"Daddy, I should have won that game!" Arriane said to father, pulling on his pant legs, looking up to him with bright blue eyes.

"But then she cheated, Daddy! I should have won!" Adam said opposite, hugging onto Dean.

Dean's eyes glanced to Nicole and Nate questioning what happened—they just shrugged.

"Well," Dean started, kneeling down to the children, "this just means we'll have to play another game to see who really wins," he told them, but whispered to Adam, "but my money's on you, Adam," he said, chuckling.

"Don't worry, babe, I'm sure you'll beat Adam," Castiel encouraged Arriane—the children both gave their parents a bright eyed look, before glancing at each other and sticking their tongue. Dean and Castiel just laughed before the kids ran off to find Ann and Sarah.

"You two amaze me with how good you can be with kids," Nate commented, getting a beer for the fridge, handing one to Dean as well.

"Ha, you just gotta have it in you," Dean chuckled.

"And Dean here knows just what to say. I learned a lot from him," Cas piped in.

"Anyhow, I'm going to change into something more comfortable. You three have fun now," Dean said before leaving.

And the night went on. Dinner with Nicole and Nate, Ann and Sarah and Arriane and Adam being a laugh at the table, their conversations and little flights got everyone to laugh: kids were such a joy at this age, then came the teenage years... Oh, Dean was not looking forwards to those years with Arriane. She was a girl, and even though Dean had a sister when growing up, Jo was much like a tomboy; Arriane was a girly girl, that was for sure.

"Oh, Adam, my man!" Dean bumped his shoulder with a laugh. He had just watched Adam give Ann a little peck on the check before they left. "Looks like someone's got a little girlfriend! You know, back in my day—"

"Dad! Sh-shut up! It's not like that!" Adam stammered, blushing before running off. Dean just laughed, Castiel giving him a questionable look.

"What? Our kid is in love, as a dad, I've got the right to give him a hard time!" he explained.

"What makes you have the right to do that?" Cas asked, starting on the dishes.

Dean moved over to help him. "You know, parents aren't only here to care and make sure they're kids grow up right, we've got the right to embarrass them, to tease them, have a good time with them... Like, ah... Friends do," he explained.

Dean honestly loved Castiel. How he could be so clueless to so many things, and how he questioned everything still.

"And as they get older, they get more of their own mind, more free will," he continued as he dried the dishes, "so that gives us a little room to be friends with them, but we're still their parents so we've gotta set the rules for them too. You get it?"

"I kind of do... So as they grow older, more friends with them...? But still a parent..." Cas glanced down into the water, thinking.

"It's really not that hard to get—and by eighteen they'll be outta here and we'll be clueless what to do with our time." He laughed. "Well, there are a few things I could think that we could do," he nudged Case a little, giving a little wink. Castiel blushed deeper.

"Dean, by then we'll be in our late thirty—"

"That's not gonna stop me from loving you, Cas." Nothing would ever stop him from loving Castiel—he would honestly do anything for him and Cas the same. "Because," Dean stopped being serious, which was rare for him. "You mean the world to me, as well as Arrie and Adam; I would give the world just to keep you and them safe. You guys are my world."

"Dean…." Castiel was quite for the moment, deep in thought. "When I woke up here, on the road, and you took me, I didn't know what to expect being here. I didn't know who I was, or where I was, I didn't know who you were as well, and you the same. But out of the kindness in your heart, you took me in and cared for me like I was family…. And I'm glad you did, Dean, it makes me so happy to be here with you, and even the kids. I know there's nothing in the world that would stop me from being with you, and if there is I'll fight for you, as well. You are what makes me happy each and every morning, Dean."

There was a smile on Dean's face, a smile so wide that you had to question if it hurt him. "Cas…." He moved in holding him softly and kissing him passionately like there was no tomorrow.

It was later that night that Adam and Arriane had walked sleeply into their bedroom, waking the both of them up from slumber.

"Daddy…" Arriane mumbled in that tired voice. Her and Adam where standing side by side, obviously tired.

"The neighbors, they keep flashing these lights…" Adam explained, already crawling into their bed.

"And they won't turn them off…. And…it's been going on for a long time…" Arriane followed after Adam, climbing into bed next to Castiel.

Cas and Dean exchanged a questionable look: in their own bedroom there were faint flashes of blue and red lighting the room dimly.

"Dean…" Cas said, a concerned note to his voice.

"Don't worry about it, Cas—stay with them, I'll find out what's going on." Dean held a serious, stern tone to his voice as he left the room, taking one last look at Castiel who had his arms around a tired Arriane and Adam telling them nothing was going to hurt them, to sleep.

Outside a crowd was gathered around the Olsen's home. Lining the street were two police cars as well as two ambulances. The scene was nothing you'd see in neighborhood like this…something out of a movie. Body bags being carried out of the front door… Dean stood in horror, questioning what he was looking at.

"Hey… What's going on here?" he joined the crowd.

"Looks like he ended up slaughtering his family like pigs… made his dear daughter watch… Such a sick bastard he is: and I thought they were such a nice family…" the woman shook her head in disgust. "Guy must have got drunk or something, ended up going mad."

That wasn't right: Nate wasn't one to drink till he was drunk—in fact he barely ever got drunk. Eyes glanced to Nate, who was being forced into the back of a police car, crying, shouting and screaming Nicole's name: he looked to be in so much pain…. That wasn't the face of a murder, was it? Dean didn't think so—but then again it wasn't like he knew everything about Nate, there were things everyone hid from their friends, even close friends…

"Yea, mad… I can't believe we just had them over for dinner a few hours ago…." Dean muttered. He was the first to leave the crowd.

Adam and Arriane were asleep on their bed when he returned, Castiel sitting on the side of the bed, watching over them like an angel. It was weird, for some reason Cas didn't sleep: it wasn't like he didn't want to sleep, but he couldn't sleep. He'd spend the night reading, or laying there with Dean—he found comfort in that action.

"Dean, what's going on?" Cas asked him, closing the door to the bedroom.

"It's… Nate… Cas, Nicole and Ann are dead," he informed the other in disbelief. "I mean, I don't know what happened to him, but… they were carrying two body bags out… Cas, it was horrible…" Dean's eyes were staring at the floor, reliving the horror he had seen: he had just seen the people in those bags alive and well a few hours ago…

"My God," Castiel muttered. "And Sarah?"

"Someone said that… that Nate made her watch the whole thing…. But she looked, physically okay…."

"Her poor soul: it must be so torn," Castiel murmured: he couldn't believe what Dean had told him…Nate was a kind person, someone who wouldn't even hurt a fly let alone his family. He was good natured and had good intent…. "I just can't believe he would do something like that…"

"Nor can I…" Dean took a breath, getting off the topic: there was no need to mope right now, they were tired, he knew tomorrow would be difficult though, having to tell Adam and Arriane… He dread the fact they would have to do that.

The next morning, after sleeping on the couch curled up to Cas, they talked to Adam and Arriane. They'd told them that Nicole and Ann were gone, that they had passed away last night. They were confused, asking when they were coming back, that they wanted to play more with Ann and see Nicole: it hurt both of them knowing that they weren't coming back, and nor was Nate or likely Sarah.

"I'm sorry, Cas, I really am, but I've gotta go," Dean said, kissing Cas before he left: a half day at work today being a Saturday. Dean hated to leave Cas with the kids in this situation, in fact he hated to go to work having lost a friend, and know another caused that lost. But he knew to push through it, life moved on and you had to as well.

The day easily went on, Castiel doing house work, watching the kid, but there was a clear difference in the house atmosphere. Something was off, and it wasn't just what happened last night with the Olsen's, it felt like something was coming for the family….

It was later in the day when Dean arrived home from work, tired and needing his pie and Cas.

"Cas, babe, I'm home!" he called into the house, taking off his shoes. He was expecting Adam and Arriane to come running to greet him: but nothing. The house was silent.

"Castiel? Adam? Arriane?" There was not a single answer as he glanced around.

Out of the silence broke a scream: "Daddy! Help!"


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N**: I would love to get some reviews for this! To know how you guys like it an such. As an AT story, or AU? There are going to be a few original characters in it, just for villains and such. In this chapter we finally meet Ananel.

And I really would like to thank Ann who's been helping me with this, as feedback and edits!

"Daddy! Help!" rang throughout the house.

Dean panicked at hearing Arriane's voice. Help?! His mind raced to the worst possible situation: seeing blood covering the walls, soaking into the carpet, the mangled bodies of his loved ones, the pain in their lifeless eyes…. He ran as fast as he could to where he heard her voice, calling after her.

"Shut your trap, fucking scum!" a female voice screamed.

"Don't you dare talk to my daughter like that!" Dean hissed at the woman, stopping in the doorway.

Even if the room was dimly lit, Dean could easily see each person who stood in the room clearly. And in the corner Adam and Arriane were cowering in the corner, in front of them stood Castiel like a shield, putting himself between his kids and the intruder.

The woman stood tall and confident, much like of a woman who knew what she wanted. Of course her outfit didn't give that feeling: it was like a teenager going though her rebellious stages in life—she wore some My Chemical Romance shirt, and blue, ripped skinny jeans and some black military boots giving her a few inches. She stood just about Dean's height, and her deep brown hair was far too long, laying down her back, curls falling at the ends.

"Oh, look you finally fucking showed up," hissed the woman. Her eyes pierced at Dean's soul, making him stop dead in his tracks, even his breathing hushed. They were a vicious green, the green of bright grass, but there was something so different about these eyes. "The so called man of this fucking whore house,"

"There are innocent children here," Castiel's voice was rather calm for this situation, but there was an underlying worry to his voice. He was acting tough for Adam and Arriane: something Dean should be doing.

"Innocent children my fucking ass, Cas. Look at who they're fathers are: two fucking homosexual _monsters_." She hissed at Castiel: he tried to show her no fear as she stepped towards him, but the look he gave Dean. It broke his heart, letting his emotions run wild.

"You fucking little," Dean all but muttered before Ananel fell to the floor, a solid punch to her upper cheek. "Don't you dare talk about Castiel and I like that. Adam and Arriane are happy with us as parents, and I know that Castiel is happy with me being the one he loves. And I'm fucking happy that Castiel is in my life: I love him more then anything in this world, and I will not stand for some bitch to stand here, in my house, and call what we share a _monster_."

Dean, quickly shaking his hand off from the punch, turned his attention to Castiel. "Cas, Cas, are you alright?" a worried tone carried over as he rushed over to him and the kids kneeling down to check them, before getting up to hug Cas. He couldn't even get a hug in before they were interrupted by the bitch.

A snarling laugh emitted from the throat of the wench as she moved to get up. "Nice fucking try, homo, gotta admit you caught me off guard." She stood, wiping her cheek, before sending Dean flying across the room with a flick of her hand.

A grunt came from him as he hit the wall with much force. One moment he was about to embrace Cas, and the next the wind was knocked from him. Screams came from Adam and Arriane, and Castiel tried to take steps toward Dean, only to be barked at.

"Don't you take one fucking step towards that cunt!" she hissed with anger. "Really Cas? What in fucking hell do you see in him? He's a soulless fucking cunt. In Father's eyes he's trash—"

"Don't you dare talk about Dean like that! Dean is a great—"For the moment Castiel stood tall in defending Dean: he wouldn't allow anyone to tall about someone he so cared for like that. The fierce anger in his eyes took note in his voice, but all soon faded as a thin silver object, that had appeared out of no where, was facing him. He only stiffened and took a step back, arms out to protect Adam and Arriane.

"Does it look like I was done fucking talking? Does it?!" she spat with such rage. "And you," she turned her mood towards Dean, taking step after step towards him as he lay slumped against the wall, barely conscious. "Look what you've fucking done to him! From the first fucking moment he laid eyes on you, his grace was tarnished. With every little fucking touch you give him, his grace turns black. I'm fucking surprised he hasn't fallen already after all you've fucking done to him!" she hissed. There was so much venom in her words, so much anger; Dean, nor Cas, had never seen anyone so mad before.

"So why in the fucking world would I allow you to fucking touch him once fucking more? A pitiless fucking cunt like you." She said so softly to him as she yanked his head back by the hair, holding the sharp object, almost a sword, to his throat.

He squirmed at the cold touch of the object, trying to make out his words, but they failed him, coming out like grunts and gargles. It was the most horrid thing anyone had heard. You could see the fear in his eyes, the pain in them knowing if this wench did kill him he'd be leaving Cas, Arriane, and Adam by themselves... He couldn't do that, he wouldn't!

"I don't fucking understand how our Father could let him fall into your fucking hands. You've fucking had him all along, hiding him from his fucking brothers and sisters, from fucking me! You were fucking hiding my fucking older brother from me! And look what you've fucking turned him into, some homo loving monster! Castiel use to be strong, he used listen, he used to lead. He didn't let emotions get in the fucking way, until you fucking happened. I don't understand why I shouldn't just fucking kill you here and now for doing such horrible things to him!"

"You will not harm Dean," Castiel boomed. "I will not let you harm him, I forbid you from harming him! You say I'm your older brother? Then listen to what I have to—"

"You were my older brother!" she said to him, drawing her attention to him now. "But tell me, little fucking Castiel, do you even fucking know my name? Our Father's name? Do you remember our brothers and sisters? Do you even remember Uriel, Anna, or even Balthazar? I fucking hated him so much, but you two were the best of fucking friends and brothers!"

This woman had him there. She claimed they were family, that he had other brothers and sisters but none of them came to mind. The names were strangers to him.

"Fucking see?! You don't fucking remember, and until you do remember, I'm never going to fucking listen to you. You're not the fucking brother I knew!" she hissed. In proving her point she turned back to Dean, the object back in her hand.

"You will not harm him!" he ordered her still. Dean's weary eyes looked towards Cas: he looked so strong, like he knew what he was doing, like he knew what he was doing was right.

"Like you're going to fucking stop me!" she dared him.

For a moment Castiel's ocean blue eyes glanced at Dean's: they were not strong eyes that he had a moment ago, no, they were utterly different, like a man who had sacrificed so much. For a moment Dean thought he saw his lips say: "_Forgive me,_"

"I will go with you." That easily got her attention. "Earlier, you said that you'd come here for me. I will go with you then. In return I ask that you do not harm my children or Dean, you will not come back here, you will leave my family alone for as long as you live." This made her laugh.

"Well, looks like we have a fucking deal." And just like that, with the sounds of the wind, Castiel and the woman disappeared into thin air.

"Cas! Cas, no!" Dean's harsh voice tried to scream out, reaching for the spot where he stood. "Don't leave me..."

Castiel looked around in awe and shock: it was so peaceful where he stood, all around him where lushes green grass, blazing flowers, and on the edges tittered a line of trees. The colors lit up the already bright sky, each and every one stood out: it was so breathless. To an open field stood an elderly man wearing red, flying a kite, not paying attention to the two that stood in the beautiful garden.

"This was your favorite Heaven: and don't worry about him, he can't see us." Explained the woman, snapping Cas back to the situation at hand. She was sitting on a small bench, welcoming she patted the spot next to her on the stone bench. Castiel did not take her offer.

He took note that what the woman was wearing was clashing with the vibrant colors around them: even her blue skinny jeans seemed to bend in.

"Where are we?" he asked her directly, keeping a serious tone.

"Like I said, you're favorite Heaven—that guy's Heaven," she nodded towards the man flying the kite. "It's one of his memories here so some shit, I don't even know why you would like a Heaven like this," she muttered.

"Heaven? You mean _the_Heaven?" His eyes took another look around in awe: it seemed a bit empty to be Heaven though. Where were the pearly gates and fluffy clouds?

"Ugh," she uttered, rolling her eyes. Obviously she was not amused with how Castiel as treating the situation. "You know, I clearly fucking remember you sitting me down here when I was younger and explaining Heaven to me. I can't fucking believe that now it is my turn." She was obviously annoyed at the situation. It wasn't like he knew this, or did she just expect him to suddenly get his memory back?

She cleared her voice, almost in a mocking manner, before she started. "There isn't just one Heaven: each soul creates it's own Heaven from memories of the deceased," her tone was indeed mocking—he could assume that she was mocking him from the time he told her about Heaven, explain it more in detail though.

Castiel flinched, gripping his head now: that's right, he told her about this Heaven before, is so much more detail, bringing her to a hundreds of Heavens to get his point across. He told her that the soul is a powerful thing for the humans that they were important as well to them, everything that happened in their life was engraved on their souls.

"You're remembering something: What are you remembering?" she pressed.

Those deep blue eyes of his opened to glare at her. This woman knew who he was, she had for a long time he took it. "Who are you? How are we in Heaven?"

She took a breath now, regaining her composer. "It's simple, Castiel: we're fucking angels. Only those how have died can assent into Heaven, and only angels can come and go as they fucking please." A grin appeared on her lips now: "and it's about fucking time you asked that: I'm your younger sister, Ananel."

Ananel.

A painful groan escaped the confused angel as he gripped his head tighter, crumbling to the ground. Ananel, that name, her voice, everything seemed too familiar to him. It was right there, memories of her, but they were out of reach of him as if the memories were mocking him.

"Castiel?" He felt her hands around his shoulders as she kneeled down to him. "What's wrong? What's going on?" her voice was calm and steady, she seemed to be acting normal. _No... No... This isn't normal for her_. It was like he just knew that she was worried for him, for her brother being crippled in pain.

"I... You, I'm remembering you: bits, pieces," he managed to get out. Bit and pieces were right: it felt as if a wall was slowly crumbling in his head, with each passing moment he was talking to Ananel, finding more about himself and others he knew.

"Tell me, what do you remember?" she pressed on, wanting to know. Her brother, no, one of her best friends was remembering her: memories of when they were younger, memories she cherished.

The pain suddenly stopped and Castiel relaxed: she asked him again what he remembered, but all she got in return was a simple blank, almost confused look on Castiel's face.

"Castiel... Do you not remember me at all?" There was clear emotion in her voice, Cas noted this, and it wasn't like her at all. Ananel was one to never let others see if she was hurt, her bitchy side would arise, or she'd simply start breaking things with her talents of telekinesis.

"You're hurt," he said pointing out the clear obvious.

"Fuck off, Castiel," she hissed at him as she stood up, walking away from him back to the bench. Castiel did not follow her, but he did stand dusting off his clothes.

"Ananel, what have I told you about your foul language? Father would be ashamed to hear you speak such words." Castiel told her, almost scolding her. To him, having memories of scolding Adam and Arriane came to mind, it was weird to scold another, and someone he barely remembered.

"Castiel?" Ananel's lushes green eyes froze as she stared at him in an array of disbelief. "Castiel: you remember?"

He bit his lip, a human trait he'd picked up, but he started back at her. "Yes… and… No: I don't remember you," he was almost a disappointed sigh that came from him as he moved to take the bench. His face rested in his palms as he rubbed his temples.

The younger angel just stood there, for once, not knowing what to say. "What do you mean you remember me, but you don't?" Was he trying to toy with her, make her mad?

"I can't explain it, Ananel. I remember you, I remember you've always had foul language for an arch angel, I remember telling you about Heaven and how you just couldn't believe me. I remember giving you you're first piece of candy. And I clearly remember teaching you how to nurse people back to health." Castiel's blue eyes stared into the grass below him, not bothering to look at Ananel who stood frozen listening to each and every word Castiel said.

"You were young still: we were on Earth when you found a blue jay—he had a broken wing and could not get back to his family. I remember how you were so worried about it, asking if we could help it. At the time I was focused on our task at hand, but you being so young... I knew it was a good time for you to learn something new. It took some time before you got it right, to heal the bird with a touch, but once he was healed there was a grin on your face no one could copy. That grin stayed there as we watched the bird fly of into the open skies, chirping a happy tune."

"How embarrassing of you to remember things from so long ago..." she muttered, almost distressed about him remembering memories like that, but there was no tone to prove it. "What else do you remember?"

A sigh left Castiel: it was too much to ask of him to tell what he remembered, even now as he talked about his memories his head pounded and pounded. "There are more things, but I feel as if I'm missing big spots in my memory. If I've been alive for as long as I think I have, then I'm missing a lot."

"You've got that fucking right!" Ananel grinned: there was so much to make Castiel remember. Even if they were just starting right there, where thousands of things needed to be remembered: about friends and his other brothers and sisters, and about being an angel in general.

"Let's get fucking going then, Castiel. You've got a shit ton of people to meet, to remember: and that isn't the fucking half of it, we've gotta get you to remember every fucking thing you've learned in angel duties—the prophets, the Bible itself, every bit on knowledge we know!" A lighter note filled Ananel's voice as she through an arm around Cas to drag him off somewhere else.

But Castiel wouldn't have that.

He removed her arm from him and proceeded to take a step back from her. "Forgive me, Ananel," he started, holding her eyes with his stare right into your soul look. No, it wasn't just that look, it was a look that he put thought into, a look that had great meaning to it. Such a _human_ look.

"What do you fucking mean you're sorry?" she spat at him.

"Ananel, I can not go with you like this. I've got a family to take care of on Earth, I can not simply abandon—" he was harshly cut off.

"The fuck you're going back, Castiel!" she violently spit, "does it look like you're fucking going back to a fucking human family when you're a fucking angel of the Lord!? When you're brothers and fucking sisters are worried about you!?" There was a fire that burned in her eyes as she hissed her words, there was such anger in them. "We haven't been sitting on our god damn fucking asses the past four years Castiel! We've been fucking looking for you! We've all been fucking looking for you, you fucking cunt! And you just want to go back to them? A fucking human family, leaving us? Your real fucking family!?"

"Ananel," Castiel's tone was calm and collect. "They were my family when I first woke up, Dean was always there, and soon Adam and Arriane came: they bring light to my world, I've always been there for them, and they have as well. And Dean—"

"Oh, that fucking cunt of a human, Dean! You think he's done you any fucking good!? Look what he's turned you into! Look at the fucking shame he's brought to your grace, and even to himself!" It was her turn to be cut off now.

"I will not have you talk about Dean that way, Ananel! He's given me everything I could ask for; I would do anything for him, and he would do anything for me. He wasn't done anything to me other than show me that there is love in this world, how kind humans can be. He's been kind and giving, he's been my friend and now lover, and he's always been there for me when I've needed someone!" Castiel's voice was filled with emotion, but not anger or rage, there was a passion that came to his voice when he talked about Dean.

"And we have not been there for each fucking other? No one in the Garrison has ever been there for you? They've always fucking been there, and you've all had so many fucking memories, that you can even fucking remember because you're throwing some fucking fit about those _humans_! You haven't even fucking bothered to get memories of your _real_ fucking friends, you cunt!" Ananel walked towards him, the rage almost glowing from her. "When you fucking left, disappeared out of the fucking blue, we all looked for you: it wasn't out fucking orders to fucking look for a bitch like you, but we wanted to because we fucking missed you!"

But then, after two years of not even a sign of Castiel, they started to give up in looking for him: Balthazar was the last of them to stop helping Ananel look for him. But she was always there, always doing her job but always looking, keeping an open mind that her dear older brother would still be alive. And he was, he was alive in the flesh, just... No memories. Ananel had wanted her brother to be fine, back to himself with all of his memories. She wanted, no, _needed_ him to be back to himself because life was lonely without her brother, there was a piece of her missing when Castiel wasn't around, a light in her gone. She only just wanted her older brother.

"If you claim that you've been there for me, then where were you when I needed you?" Castiel's point was valid. "Dean was there to find me, not you nor any other angel. Without him, I would not have survived." He was wrong there, though he had no memories, he was an angel that could not die nor age.

That didn't change the fact that now Dean, Adam and Arriane were his family.

She now stood in front of him, face to face, eye to eye: there was a look in her eye that made Castiel feel pain—she looked so hurt and tired, so beaten and broken, yet there was a fire that burned in them. "Castiel: we here are your family, we've always been there for you, and we always will be, no humans are going to change that. You will not return to them, Castiel. Not until you have all of your memories, then you can go back, then you can pick: them or us."

"There is nothing stopping me from going back to my family," Castiel uttered.

"But there is, Castiel. If you leave to see them before you remember—if you dare take one look at their life, they will all suffer. We maybe angels of the Lord, but there is nothing stopping us from making humans suffer, and you will be there to watch them, and there will be nothing you can do about other then hear their screams from help, for their father." There was a threatening tone in her voice: she meant what she said.

But Ananel knew that it was for the best that Castiel get his memories back, for him to know who he was for his own safety. She knew it was wrong to hold that against him, his family that he cared so much about, to hold Adam and Arriane's life in his hands: but this was her brother, she would do anything for him.


End file.
